:'( :'( :'(

I dont know what is wrong with my family now . Seem like everything is ruin . . I'd tried to hide everything . . But . . I just dont know . . Seem ma mom had her own business . . My home , ma siblings . . Like crap already . No one to take care of . . I just dont know . Ma mom keep blaming me . A small fault can be a big matter for her . Even just a small mistake ! I know I should just be quite . . But , I just dont get it why she keep blaming on me . Its ok . Sooner , I'll get use to it . Hmm . . Lucky I still ma dad . Even he quite as usual , but he never blame me if I do not get over the rules . Anything I want , I'll get it ! He never ask . Does my mom didnt love me and more love her own life ?? Everything is change . Im totally freak out ! I smile , I laugh . . But , deep in ma heart , no one know . Each tears that fall down , no one care . Lucky I have ma besties Elsie and Ejah . . Both of them know my problems so well . . I put ma trust 100% to both of them . Ma dear Esham , yup . I never tell you this . But , yes it is . Ma family got problems ! And , thanks God I have you dear . Always keep me smile and laugh . . For God sake , I love you darlin' . . Ya Allah , keep ma family as back time before . . Please Ya Allah :'( There is no other place to ask and beg . . :'(